High Hopes

I learnt something new about myself today. I found it easier to pray alone than in the house of God. This is a huge development for me, I feel like I'm closer to understanding if I'm a believer or not.

I decided to remove some posts because they no longer were relevant. I chose not to write about a lot of events that have occurred in the past few years. Apart from the sheer fact that I completely ignored this space, I'm sure those events are pretty much etched in my memory.

I find myself at one of life's crossroads yet again. The only hope is this ordeal will come to an end soon so that I'm all prepared when the next one comes along.

"two-fold plan"

Had some friends come over to my place-we worked on an art project. It was great fun considering I just abandoned all my interest in arts and crafts after joining work. For about 30 mins into the activity I even considered it as a future career option-maybe when I'm fed up with the corporate life (which won't be too far away).

Part 1 of the "two-fold plan" is to start getting up on time (or early..desperately trying to be ambitious) and do something (too ashamed to mention it) I keep coaxing myself to do but never get around to doing..but really need to do it now for my own good.

Part 2 of the "two-fold plan" is to get focussed about something (sorry, too ashamed to mention this as well)..it's nearly late to do it now but I'm just hoping will be able to achieve something in a few months - either the relief of having done it or the guilt that I was chasing after the wrong thing and that I should move on.

Need to get cracking on the two-fold plan IMMEDIATELY!

I gotta job!

Finally..on an auspicious day of Sep 11 07, I Megha Subodh started going to work. Something I honestly thought I was not capable of merely because I am the laziest bum of the highest order.

I also realized that this job has prevented me from doing a lot of things I thought were fun.
For instance I stopped expressing my state of mind on my blog, I mean it took me almost 5 months to just mention that I got a job on this blog.

This leaves me to wonder if this job is honestly taking me away from the reality I want to live or I've just let the job's reality decide how I should live..

For now it clearly is the latter.. someone save me!!

granny talk

few days back i heard my granny and the neighbour lady talk.. but this part of the conversation occurred after about five hours of them talking. i could sense from my granny's voice that she had had enough and desperately wanted to come back in. this was her attempt to end the conversation and the neighbour lady's not so feeble attempt to continue the conversation.

my granny: hmm nice weather
neighbour-: ya nice weather, so what plans for dinner
my granny: don't know, looks like it'll rain
neighbour: ya looks like it'll rain, so when will your daughter come?
my granny: ahh ya she'll come some time, (a speedy bike passes by) pah these boys
neighbour: pah these boys, what about your granddaughter, what plans for the future?
my granny: god only knows kids these days, oh i think shez calling ( when i haven't even opened my mouth)
neighbour: ya god only knows kids these days.. oh is she calling? i dont think so tell me what else
my granny:(blatantly) ok see you around..

and she comes in only to find me rolling all over the floor... and besides this whole conversation was in malayalam so it was doubly hilarious! :-)

V3i

got my dad's V3i and he took my nokia :-( he claims that its too complicated.. and yes it is .. and atleast for an ardent nokia fan its really hard to adjust to this phone not liking it very much now but kya kare have to get used to it.. was compelled to take the phone.. and dad was being unusually weird about giving it .. by that i mean he was dying to get rid of it .. and after i gained possesion of the phone i realized it hasd some problems so went and got tht fixed.. hmmm very clever dad!anyway now he is roaming around somewhere with my phone :-( tucked to his beer belly and i'm here with this piece of metal :-(

boil leaves nasty scar and remainder of the horrific incident . internship finished and got over in a flash. exam not starting and getting over in a

(hmm the stupid title couldn't fit my 'miseries' in) flash... life sucks right now...(flashes everywhere)...
well that was a self explanatory title..but please let me crib about my life some more..
1) as previously stated my boil- since it was the size of the globe has left a scar the size of jupiter, in addition to which a small bump.. which i feel will erupt into the boil's nemesis after few days, months, years,decades,scores,centuries,milleniums... god knows..

2) i started my supposed "fruitful" internship at Ogilvy& Mather (O & M) advertising, on the third of april.. i went i saw i got bored. between all that managed to do some work for the company ... but realized it's not what i wanted to do in life or maybe i'm just making another hasty decision.

3)exams are starting on the 15th of may... deeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
today was an interesting day, i had my practical exam, couldn't finish the paper, my radio piece for friday's practical exam sounds pathetic, an auto guy whispered dirty somethings in my ear at the signal, then nearly got killed by his evil twin...hmmm sulked about life not being fair (still am) thus i had and am having an "interesting" day.

stupid day

its's a little after 3 in the afternoon, just came back from college... by the way COLLEGE SUCKS!!!!! not doing anything productive in college,flunked my comp internals- WHO DOES THAT!!! fell sick 7th month in a row- WHY GOD WHY!!! felt like blogging in college..when i saw my ugly computer the most remote feeling for blogging also vanished! ahhh my life... just staring blankly at the comp now...gosh i actually spent 15 mins staring!!!! STUPID DAY!!!!

going to wake up from my slumber

MOOD: feeling 1 ft 'short'

alas! i've done it again..after the inumerable promises to myself to blog regularly i've gone and fallen prey to the perils of procastination AGAIN!!!! will i ever change.. (i'd like to say no,being the pessimist i am)

over the past few days i "WAS" supposed to blog about my class picnic to MEKEDATTU, which rocked! a visit to the old age home,which was an enlightening experience, the beginning of my CAT classes..the death of my french class, random happenings in college, how miserable my internals were, the ever-present disaster in my life: my computer and more....

but instead of blogging about it all i've done is contemplated about blogging!!!!!
well instead of hating myself and feeling really low right now i'm just going to make a better effort next time and WAKE UP from my deep slumber of laziness(WAKE UP MEGHA ,WAKE UP-ignore that, it was me profusely shaking myself to awaken to reality). on a positive note i did read 'the alchemist' (FINALLY) loved it!!!!

P.S: i'm so brialliant i even forgot my password to the blog! *sigh* my brain and its limited capacity!!!!!!!

housewives prove to be a "snag" in my comprehension of french

I would definetly agree with oprah winfrey(that american woman with her talk show whom i believe can become the President whenever she wants,whom the women of America, and some men worship) when she says tht being a housewife is the hardest job on the planet...but these two housewives i know, in my french class are driving me mad!! simply beacuse right when i thought i was queen of my class these two butt in and seem like they've been talking french for years together..i know i'm acting like a 10 year old with this issue but believe me it's really frustrating..i remember the good old days when i used to be them .. ahhhh when i finally understood what "voulez vous couchez avec moi ce soir" meant (from the song moulin rouge) without having to refer to the lexicon some immense sense of pride rushed through me(even though it meant-will you go to bed with me..but watever), and i've also come to realize that when it comes to a language i'm good at the written bit of it and reading but somehow for the oral and comprehension i'm slow(i think that's normal... atleast i hope).. so as of now i get up like some sullen ape at 6 in the morning for class (actually 6.45 he he ) go to class at 7 think i'm going to do well..then come along the "ladies" and throw some tar all over my hopes. so as of now french just sucks (sorry french i don't mean to be rude) jus been demotivated in class lately...:-( :-( :-(